Siblings

Dennis had a conversation at work today with some of his Russian coworkers, who were commenting on how far behind the schools here in Switzerland seem to be.  It’s true that Ella does seem to be spending at least half of her time on extracurriculars: music, drawing, sports, her class play, and so forth.  And as for Alex, while Ella learned how to read and write in kindergarten, he’s spending his mornings coloring and dancing and playing.

As you know, we firmly believe that Alex’s kindergarten experience is just what it should be: kindergarten is for playing and learning to make friends and listen to teacher and playing some more.  Nor are we concerned about Ella: we realized that she would be getting a different sort of education this year, and our hope for her was that she would be exposed to a new language and a new culture and a new perspective on what it’s like to be a foreigner. And if she can do all that while ice skating and swimming, so very much the better.

Today she spent two hours of the morning in Handwerk, or handicrafts, class. Last week I mentioned that she was learning whittling: today she continued.  There’s a big emphasis on vocational work in the Swiss schools, and a surprising number of students never think of college, being filtered early into the apprentice system.  And Handwerk is the beginning.

I asked her what, exactly, she was working on, and she said that most of the kid in the class were making crowns, but that she was making a car.  “What? But why aren’t you making a crown?”  I could have kicked myself as soon as I said the words.  Of course my engineering-inclined daughter should make a car!  But still, this is the little girl who spent a year wearing fairy wings and has a half-dozen disguises stuffed under her bed at any moment. The words that came from my mouth were from genuine surprise.

And Ella understood that, and knew it was out of character, but gave the most delicious answer.  “Well, the crowns, there’s really nothing to them. You just cut out the front and attach a strap to it, and you can color it if you want.  But a car, that’s really interesting! There are all kinds of parts, and you get to cut out every single one.  Besides, Alex will love it.”

Awwwww!

That child can be so sweet to her brother.  But, being Ella, she’s still tempestuous.  She’s been working, so, so hard lately on controlling her temper, this I know.  I’ve seen her bite her lip, leave the room, run away. She’s even written about her struggles with it in her journal.  But she had a relapse just this morning, I was awoken by her shrieks of “Naughty, naughty BOY! How COULD YOU!” Alex had colored on a cardboard heart that she had been saving and planning on decorating.  He knew she was saving it, and she knew he knew, and that made it an unpardonable offense. She simmered in her room for ten minutes, until I found an eraser: it was only colored pencil, after all. All was forgiven by breakfast.

After this morning's scuffle.  That's naked adoration you're seeing.

But Alex spent his afternoon making little gifts for Ella. He pulled out all the stops: beads, shrinky-dinks, a toilet-paper tube decorated with beautiful pictures and filled with pebbles so it rattled, a watercolor painting of a turtle.  I’m certain it was some sort of self-imposed penance.  He piled up all of his offerings at the front door, and Ella received them in the kindest spirit. “Oh Alex, these are so precious! And I know you worked so hard on them! Thank you!” Exactly the words, and tone, I would have used.  Huh.

It’s an interesting dance that siblings do, fighting, and forgiving, and protecting one another.  This evening I was scolding Alex for losing his gloves, for not listening to me when I asked him to pick them up, he with tears streaming down his face. And I felt Ella tugging on my sleeve. “You shouldn’t be so hard on him, mom. Those were the gloves grandma and grandpa gave him. Right now he feels like nothing’s right in the world, like nothing will ever be good again.  I know. I’ve been there.”

Do you know the worst part of that particular story?  I was actually, unknowingly holding his gloves under my arm all the while I was scolding him. Gold star, mom.

Well, it was the end of a long day: we went back to the top of Üetliburg as soon as Ella got home.  We still didn’t crack that sled out of it’s box.  The snow is almost melted outside our apartment, and I wasn’t convinced there’d be enough on the mountain to sled on, but I thought we could scout it out, at least.

I was wrong: it was great!  The snow was thick and the mountain deserted, and Ella and Alex had a great time playing with each other, rolling around in the snow. We’re planning on returning early tomorrow, just after breakfast, before the slopes get crowded.

I haven’t said much about Joey today: he’s been asleep for a good part of the day, and quiet for most of the rest, down with a headcold.  He slept in my arms the entire time we were on cold, windy Üetliburg. He and I might have to stay home and read in the morning if he isn’t feeling better.

But he might have something to say about that.  Every morning he watches Ella and Alex leave for school through tears: I can’t imagine he’d stand for them going out to play with out him.

You see, he loves them so.