Something Completely Different

Dennis here.  Even the World's Best Mom and Blogger needs a break every few months.

What can I add to Cheryl's careful and loving narrative?  Snark, of course, and maybe more German words, or some combination thereof (Der Schnark).  Instead, I should just write about a few things that Cheryl doesn't see much of, to round out the picture for you friends back home.

Starting with: early mornings.

Wake-up.  Not sleep!

Our apartment has these incredible futuristic sound-proof walls and ceiling that keep our neighbors from calling the Noise Police when we run the shower past 10pm.  Unfortunately that trapped sound bounces around inside the apartment quite well, seemingly amplifying somehow.  The net result is this: one squirrelly little kid wakes up well before the 7am curfew that their sleepy parents imposed.  No matter how quiet that first squirrel tries to be, the rest of the dray are woken up and everyone under 30 wants to start the day.

Most days I try to wake up first.  I like a half hour or so to make the first pot of coffee, wash up, and read the news and email that accumulated while the New World was awake.  Sometimes I finish up and head into work while the apartment is still quiet, but usually I get waylaid by requests from three sleepyheads who won't go back to bed (it's gotten worse now that it's bright at 6:30.  Maybe Daylight Saving Time will help?)  There's about even odds on a "mornin' Dad" response to my chipper greeting, followed invariably by requests for one of: juice; play a game; read a story; She-Ra, She-Ra; or something more outlandish, like "Can we go to Disneyland today?"

In my role as Emergency Backup Parent, I've learned a few tricks.

Step 1: Bribe.  Yes, kids, I'll put a show on if you go get dressed first.  And stop yelling.  Put down your brother.

Sometimes Ella is aggressively sweet and gentle.

Step 2: Disappoint.  Sorry, no Disneyland or waterpark on a school day.  No, only a cartoon in German today (I feel better if I pretend they're at least learning through osmosis).  Nope, I can't make waffles for breakfast.  You'll get eggs and you'll like it.

We all eat our healthful food without complaint.

Step 3: Flee.  Cheryl and I make a pretty good parenting team, I think.  And around this point is where I tag my teammate and climb through the ropes, out of the ring.  I gently wake Cheryl (as if she could really have slept through the kid's ruckus) and say, "I have to head into work now; kids are dressed and watching Mickey Maus Wunderhaus."  Cheryl is always kind or sleepy enough to avoid calling me a coward as I run.

And Cheryl takes over gracefully, as she will with this blog tomorrow.  And the kids are probably happier for it, as I'm sure you all will be, too.

Ok, maybe a little snark snuck in there.  Es tut mir leid.