Up until our move. Since we’ve gotten settled here, there’s been this sea change change in her nature. She’s become so patient, now, and quick-witted instead of quick-tempered. Tonight, for example, she asked Alex if she could use one of the many toilet paper tubes he’s been hoarding on his bookcase. He told her nope, no way, he was saving them for something special and he didn’t have any to spare. Instead of the fuss and drama I would have expected a few months ago, she told him “That’s okay, Alex, I understand completely!” And then she flashed me a private grin and quipped in my ear, “Actually, I don’t understand in the least!”And this morning we got an e-mail from her teacher, letting me know that they’d be able to give Ella some extra German instruction. It’s wonderful: She’s getting at least 6 hours of private tutoring each week, spread over 4 days. Unfortunately, one of the sessions would be during half of Ella’s beloved handywork class. (This afternoon, bursting with pride, she brought home the wonky little car she designed. But I promised I wouldn’t photograph it until it’s painted. So you’ll have to wait.) When I told her, her eyes welled up and she bit her lip and she nodded, quickly and jerkily, composing herself, before she whispered, “Okay, mom.”
This afternoon, when a boy looked like he was about to throw a rock at Alex, she jumped in front of him and held out her hand, yelling “NO! STOP!” Protecting him better than I.
And when Joey was being slow and stubborn as we were walking home, and I was too worn out to deal with him, she took him in hand and encouraged him, bringing him up the hill.And when the boys were being rascals and I was making dinner, she made up stories for them to calm them down.
And I could go on, but your patience for my motherly affection must have its boundaries.
I have some theories as to why she’s had this change in temperament. She might just be growing up. It could be that she’s less stressed with no extra Girl Scouts or swimming or gymnastics. It could be because she’s removed from so much of the social politics of school, both because the kids seem a little more innocent here, and, if and when they are cruel, she has no idea what is going on because she can’t understand them. Or maybe it’s because she’s getting more of Dennis’s and my attention because we have no other distractions, ourselves. Or maybe it’s her own stubborn resolve: she’s told me she’s trying to change, trying to be a better and more patient person.
Anyway, whatever the reason, I’m so enjoying it.
But here’s the thing. Maybe Joey saw an opening that needed to be filled, because I’ve been getting an awful, awful lot of this lately:
For example, that picture at the top of the blog? It may look cute, but don’t be fooled.. I took that this afternoon, when I took the boys out for groceries. That’s him, stubbornly refusing to let me take the shopping cart, spitting “No, I do it!” while going at about five steps a minute, insisting on walking too close to the curb, readying himself to scream wildly every time I picked him up to cross a busy street because he refused to hold my hand.
For 26 months he never gave me a whit of trouble, always being so self-contained and peaceful. But all of the sudden...wham. No bedtime! No bath! No up! No eat! No sleep! No walk! No shirt!
No peace.
Well, we’re doing our best, and the other two kids are helping with their brother. Alex knows Joey will follow him everywhere, so he shepherds him for me. I think Alex is the only reason we made it home from the store today.
So I gave him his just desserts...
Alex told me, earnestly, “Mom, any day that has a chocolate croissant on a park bench is a really good day.”
And really, apart from my struggling to take Joey’s squalls in stride, it was. Joey and I got to go out for breakfast in the morning, and we got all our chores done so that we can enjoy the weekend. And then we met Ella after school and played in the neighborhood playgrounds for a couple of hours. 
The sun is out and it’s finally warm enough that the pussy willow trees are starting to get their little catkins. Ella and Alex harvested a few.
When I asked them what they were going to do with them, Ella told me “I think I might do an art project with them. I’ll glue them to a piece of paper and write ‘be calm,’ on it and whenever I start to feel a little ruffled, I’ll pet the paper.” (See! See what I mean?! And also...”ruffled”?)
But that’s not what they ended up doing. Instead, they colored the tips with markers and called them make-up brushes.
And then they made themselves up.
No comments:
Post a Comment